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Top 3 Ways to Improve Self-Esteem and Lead a Fulfilling Life

Keywords: self-esteem, how to improve self-esteem

Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of worth and value. It affects the way we react in social situations, deal with stress in our personal relationships, and perform assigned tasks at work. Psychologist A.H. Maslow categorizes self-esteem in two ways. The first is internal self-esteem rooted in dignity, achievement, and self-independence.

The second is self-esteem founded on social recognition and respect (Maslow, 1954). According to Maslow, humans live based on a pyramid of needs. This pyramid places immediate needs like food, rest, and water at the bottom and higher needs on top such as self-esteem and self-actualization. When humans regard themselves with high confidence, they are one step closer to self-actualization, or growing into their full potential (Maslow, 1954).

Cultivate a positive mindset

There are three main ways to increase belief in oneself. The first is engaging in positive self-talk. How people think of themselves affects what goals they set, how hard they work towards those goals, and how they react if the outcome is negative (Bandura, 1986). In other words, people who approach situations with a positive attitude and a belief in one’s capabilities work harder, are less susceptible to quitting, and learn from their mistakes.

Individuals who practice positive self-talk will walk out of any situation with increased self-esteem because they are always willing to meet difficult challenges with the highest level of effort regardless of their skill set. Whereas some might perceive a situation as lose-lose, people with high self-esteem will see it as a life lesson.

Make time for self-care

The second way of improving self-esteem is practicing self-care regularly. This umbrella term covers physical, mental, and emotional needs. Ample exercise, a nutritious diet, restful sleep, and positive coping mechanisms all contribute to a healthy body.

When we’re well-rested and healthy, we are equipped to handle challenges and the stress associated with them. People who meet their biological needs can focus on how to improve self-esteem needs and on becoming better individuals (Maslow, 1954). Additionally, practicing self-care validates one’s needs and encourages self-respect.

Become more goal-oriented

The third most effective way of increasing self-esteem is setting specific goals. Confident people set goals because they are not afraid of challenges--rather, they see them as situations that they can triumph over (Bandura, 1986). Furthermore, goals not only motivate people in the long term, but they provide ways to monitor progress. Self-monitoring increases self-efficacy, which in turn increases self-esteem (Schunk, 1989). This process changes as we grow up, though.

While children’s self-esteem is shaped by how well they perform on goals set by teachers and how they compare to their peers, adults with high self-esteem learn to focus on their own goals and progress instead of comparing themselves to others (Bandura, 1994). Setting and meeting specific goals reinforces an individual’s capability of growth, fostering healthy cognitive behaviors, not promoting self-doubt. Of course, in a time where social media makes self-comparison instinctive, nurturing this growth mindset can be a slow journey.

These three methods of how to improve self-esteem can be incorporated into daily life. They might also overlap. For example, self-care can take the form of positive self-talk. Moreover, goal-setting requires positive self-talk. People who have high self-esteem will set goals and implement corresponding actions to achieve them instead of facing the task with a negative attitude, and consequently, quitting early (Bandura, 1986).

Increasing one’s self-esteem provides new opportunities, superior mental health, and a more fulfilling life. In other words, we become more confident the more we invest in ourselves. This is an arduous and continuous undertaking, but it’s an essential part of becoming the best possible version of ourselves we can be.

References:

  1. Bandura, A. (1986). Social foundations of thought and action: A social cognitive theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
  2. Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. New York: Harper and Row.
  3. Schunk, D. H. (1989). Self-efficacy and cognitive skill learning. In C. Ames & R. Ames (Eds.), Research on motivation in education. Vol. 3: Goals and cognitions (pp. 13-44). San Diego: Academic Press.